Transmutation ritual pt.2

What calls to you?

If you really listen, what do you hear? If you cancel out all the outside noise, all the opinions of others, all expectations, what calls to you? It can be as simple as the ocean: water, nature, cleansing, and renewal. Or it could be adventurous and in the development stages. Maybe it’s trekking the Andes in South America: pushing your limits physically which leads to breaking down mental barriers of doubt. Or cats or love or dance or all of the above :)

We learned about shame in Part One, and the process of transmutation in our own lives. Shame and guilt are separate but they are often neighbors. People tend to use these tactics of shame and guilt in an effort to control others. Shameful messaging could look like this: “What you did made me look bad”. Shame is the ultimate silencer. It breeds in quiet environments and survives when you do not speak up. It leads to feelings of unworthiness. Guilt, his neighbor, can look like this: “How am I supposed to know you are good without you doing this for me?”

When I put quotes, it is all up to interpretation. Someone doesn’t actually have to say that to you, but this is the clear message of words spoken or actions taken. Breaking things down, especially within the confounds of manipulation, is super important to stay clear and in your desired illuminated path. The breakdown is the second step of transmutation, the first being a deeeeepppp breath.

A thing to remember, as I am learning now, you do not owe it to anyone to explain yourself. You really don’t. I know that may be a scary concept to some, but it’s the goshdarn truth. Defending your true character and authenticity gives that other entity a sprinkle of your magic, for which you are all deserving. This bridges the gap between you currently and your inner child. Your inner child who was supposed to be protected, respected, and loved. And in many-a-cases, they were violated, disrespected, quieted.

Transmuting the messaging now, is you driving your sword in the belly of the dragon, erupting with victory.

So the steps

1. Deep breaths. I’m talking deep into your belly. Put your hand there if you need to, inhale all the way in through your nose, and exhale all the way out through your mouth. If this isn’t a normal practice of yours you might get a little light-headed. Listen to your body.

2. The Break Down. What was the word or action that triggered you? What made you feel unsafe or unable to express how you feel? Pick a few words to describe what happened- simplify it. This helps give you some charge. You get to name it for yourself.

3. How do these messages make you feel? Write or voice memo it asap. This is supposed to be messy, full of spelling errors and scribbles. Straight from the brain to page (or meta). This is also the first step in speaking your truth.

4. Speak your truth. Whether that is gaining the confidence to tell that person directly, or from here on out exemplify your attitudes by ignoring what is an aim to attack you, turning away from that relationship, or just taking a pause to sort out what is right for you.

5. No need to explain yourself. By all means, rant to your best friend or partner, brainstorm with your therapist, full on rage at the situation if you feel called to. But by no means should you give this precious power away because, unlike your inner child, now you get the choice: do you ruminate? or slay the dragon?

We are We before we are I

Our worlds are built on what we were taught and what our family and ancestors did before us. Generational trauma is a real thing that has the grip of many. here’s an example:

Immigrant ancestors escaping a war plant roots in their new home, and deal with the trauma of war, not knowing when they could build a life. Dealing with a lot of chronic stress that reveals itself through disease. They raise children but in a brazen household. The children are the direct sponge of the stress. They grow up and live very ‘traditional’ lives. The man goes to war and suffers from PTSD, the woman puts away her dream life for raising children. Both suffer from mental illness because at that time it was too taboo to seek help. The children are stressed because of PTSD and mental illness and also suffer from it both biologically and conditionally. They go off and start families of their own with their stress and traumas. See how easy it is for things to just keep snowballing?!

Okay now this is the part where I emphasize, in my personal and professional opinion, this is no excuse for poor behavior. Poor meaning abusive and toxic behavior. Knowing details like these is great for understanding the narrative, not for perpetuating the cycle. In the end, we have autonomy. I am not here to judge how long it takes you to recognize and implement it. That’s the whole point of life and what makes it unique to each individual. That is up to you to figure out on your own with the help of the village, the collective. A favorite mantra of mine is “This is not my lesson to learn”. That is part of the breakdown of taking others’ false perception of you out of the equation, and only seeing what they can’t, the mirror of the tension.

**Something else I wanted to note about generational trauma is the root of colonization. I could just keep tracing it back and reanalyze why and how we got here but my fingers may fall off. We live in a colonized world with a colonized perspective and system. This limits us to our natural teachers and takes us farther from each other. It is up to us to take precedence and rebuild the world around us. There’s also the collective trauma of war and genocide currently happening. This affects everyone, whether or not you are choosing to inform yourself or not, this is changing the world.

THIS is why it is important to do the individual work. To know that you matter because how you perceive yourself is how you carry yourself and will lead to how you choose to interact with the world: with apprehension or interest. Through peace or through shame. In liberation or oppression. One small act of trusting your intuition and purpose, which in turn is trusting the universe and mother nature, can help heal the world. Together we are

Transmuting the guilt and shame that seethe through our lineage.

I’m doing it all for her

Abundant blessings ∞

-madison renee katherine