Power and Control

I feel something in the underbelly of the world… there’s something there. Can you feel it, too?

Wednesdays are my designated writing days, but this Wednesday I didn’t have it in me. I was wiped by the complete shock factor of the day.

This is the physical manifestation of all the shadows within us. It’s been a heavy few months, and everything seems to be at its peak. Record-breaking heat and natural disasters due to climate change and no government giving a damn, a devastating bloodbath in Gaza that America is funding, a complete and utter disregard for women, so much so that as my friend Syd put it, “we have fewer rights than a fish.” Fear-mongering is present and clear from those who built these systems. This is the tone in the macro landscape, and I know the things I’ve faced personally match it, so I can imagine your story relates in unison.

It is okay to feel rageful. Be rageful, and sad, and in grief. You must feel these things so you are clear on what the next phase is. Collective liberation may sound so distant in the future, and as a therapist, we tend to focus on the here and now because that is all there is. But I’m telling you, this is the TIME! This is when it’s happening. After we mourn, we do. We must show up in the here and now to protect our future and the future of those less privileged than we are.

This doesn’t mean you have to start being political…whatever that means. You just quite literally can’t let the man get you down.

Don’t let those who pit against you take a toll on your own power within. There are limitations to this when laws are enacted, and threats are made. I am not oblivious to that obvious fact. That is why I voted against politicians who carry this fear and hatred. But do not bow down to those elected in surrender. This is when we speak up, gather with our like-minded communities, and show respect for our bodies, minds, and land. Together. This is what I mean by collective liberation.

The premise of what I am saying here is that this is nothing new. It is the same story, different fonts. Honestly, some are the same fucking fonts!! The work we are doing runs deep and may feel endless to you. I have a secret for you from someone who has been in therapy for ten years: It. Never. Ends.

If you’re like me, you often look for a reason to decide for yourself. Re: wild. Let this divine moment be your reason. Because if we are distracted by the mess of it all, the disturbance and thoughtlessness, we are doing exactly what the oppressors want. Why deny yourself water when the world thirsts for your noticing? I’ve seen it firsthand in family where there is no inward-looking or the fear is too much, and they just sink in deeper. They don’t question anymore. They let the church or an idol make their claim for them. It is so sad. It reminds me of a time in my life so pungently. I was twelve years old, freshly diagnosed with depression and anxiety, just started going to therapy, and I found expression in listening to ‘screamo’ music, lol. When my father found out by digging my art out of the trash and seeing a quote, he banned me from listening. He told me it was devilish and satanic. Here lies the fear. (I listened anyway). Small rebellion, but I stayed true to myself and what I craved: to be heard and understood at a stage where you’re anything but. I take my autonomy onward, and he takes his obedience to the church. And maybe he has his reconciliation, and I am unaware because I am not him. But I am happy with my choices, seeing myself as my guide, and surrendering to what is greater than me, of what’s in store, but never surrendering myself.

With caution, the trickster jumps sides.

I’m not saying let’s be grateful for suffering, for all the terror that is pumped through MAGA’s feeding tube, but can we take this Trickster caricature and really use it for change--which calls for change in ourselves? Can we center the mother, the child, the human and spin all apathy on its head? Can we speak on what knocks at our soul, rather than letting fear of loss cloud our vision? Loss is one of The Great Teachers. Can we center love for ourselves and Earth?- because if we hate ourselves, that hate is reflected on your neighbor. Practicing Sadhana- the concept of mind, body, and spirit alignment only in love, decentering ego, is so important right now. This is part of the work to be done. It is a personal prayer, it does not have to look like anyone else’s.

Follow suit of the queer, black, trans, indigenous folk before you. They’ve been the building block of this dance since the dawn of time. Tie your roots to other roots. Here, they are much stronger.

Lean on those who support you, and be the strongest perch for your beloveds. Pour your heart into everything, and expect deep sadness, for you have awakened vida inside you. Pure fresh life. Beating, pulsing rage and expression. Beautiful cosmic love. Walk from this path, please, and expect it not to be met, but rather, seen, celebrated, and inspiring. Do what ever you need to feel good, connected, rooted. Shake, cry, laugh, share, listen. It all has its place.

I wrote recently “I sit here, deep in what-is-life ponder, wondering why wasn’t I born a pelican? Life simply would be less serious and I could just fly on a whim. I wouldn’t be as emotional and sensitive. then, a woman asks me to take a photo of her and her dog named cinnamon in a shark costume. Then I think, maybe life isn’t that serious like I imagine it to be, and perhaps being a pelican is harder work, because they cannot dress up as sharks.”

You will always find reminders from source, god, a passed loved one, the universe etc. that you are here for a reason, and to keep on keeping on. Take it, witness the beauty and emulate that. Life is miraculous and sometimes very obvious. Doesn’t make it any less miraculous.

Favorite people to follow on social media that I feel are connected to cleanse the feed.

@artoflowing @theloveartist @sophieburns

Sending so much love. Those who need me, I am here.

Abundant blessings ∞

-madison renee katherine