Into the depths
do you really know yourself?
Yes, you. I am kindly calling you out with compassion. Who are you? Strip away the slimy bullshit of surface-level dynamics. Take away your brother your sister your neighbors your parents your career. Put them in a box. Who. are. you.
fully the hookah-smoking caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland
Let’s take a look at snakes, shall we? My hyperfixation of this past year has been this beautiful creature. So much so that Lover said I must be a snake if I talk about them so much. And yes, I took that as a compliment as he intended it to be. We all know that snakes shed the outer layer of their skin every once and a while. This is due to growth, where the snake’s body outgrows the skin around it, renewal, growing out old, dead, worn skin, and parasite removal, ridding themselves of parasites that stick to their skin.
human cells regenerate every seven years and we have a whole new outer layer of skin and cells on our body.
I use these examples to teach yet again that we are not divided from nature.
Just like snakes, we need to shed old layers of ourselves, those layers being others’ perceptions of us, negative self-concept, or times of disconnection.
“your depth is the greatest of heights”
-Fiona Apple
There is so much messaging around what defines you. Especially in this day in age when media is all surrounding. Politics are at the forefront of division. Suppression, Oppression, Genocide…
It is so easy to
Let others influence your perception of self
feel so so disconnected from ourselves (and then in return, others)
We can do all the self-care things that we see or hear about online, we can eat healthily, do yoga, and sauna/cold plunge. But frankly, these are all still just surface-level things. Of course, they count and matter, and can help you prioritize your well-being. I promise you I will not discount that at all. But, when I tell you that meeting yourself is the most radical form of self-love and growth you can do for yourself, I mean it.
How to meet yourself
sounds easy, right? I am going to bet it will be much harder than you think.
There also is not one right way to do this. I could give you pages upon pages of ideas but if none of it resonates with you, the goal of meeting yourself will never be attained. The best part is it is a never-ending process! We grow, evolve, and learn new things! Have likes and dislikes that change with the seasons. We grow together with others we grow apart from some. It’s give and it’s take.
All of this being said and relevant, this is why it is so important to meet yourself and make practice of meeting yourself so you can transition through these new phases with ease. To know and love yourself as you are protects you in the long run. It can be easy to get swept up into an identity that may serve you for a moment but not forever.
First, we need to define disconnection.
What is disconnection anyway?
disconnection can look like many things. When I say it I really mean feeling disconnected with your body. Your mind and body coincide and taking care of your body is taking care of your mind and vice versa. This is not recognizing cues from your body:
✦ not knowing when you are about to get sick
✦ pushing through an illness/injury
✦ not knowing when you are hungry/ignoring hunger cues on purpose
✦ having a surge of emotions without cause, uncontrollably so
✦ shutting yourself out from the outside world
✦ unable to connect with animals
Fostering reconnection with yourself and nature takes time and grace. I offer you to document your efforts, to not only hold yourself accountable but to show how much you have grown and truly put in the work for yourself.
Ways to reconnect
✦Spend time alone. And no, I don’t mean alone with your phone or laptop. I mean alone. You can sit, stand, dance, stretch. What do you do in this sacred time a lot of us do not have the pleasure of experiencing anymore? Allow what comes up to come up. Are you sad, terrified, or anxious to be alone? Sometimes I am all of the above. Carl Jung once said, “Knowing your own darkness is the best method of dealing with the darkness for others.” We must go into the depths to reach our greatest heights.
✦In this time alone, allow time for play. Think back to childhood.. what did you do when you were bored? Can you recreate that experience for yourself now?
✦If you are in a negative feedback loop, work on reorganizing your thoughts. Turn reactions into responses. Take the energy of others as information. Turn everything into a learning opportunity. We are meant to learn about ourselves in this life.
✦I implore you to do this all with grace. Understand that if you are a sensitive soul, you will feel a lot. And it may be too much. Decompress. Create a container for the stuff that comes up and come back to it. Do this all at your own pace, please. If you are calloused and don’t feel as deeply, ask yourself questions. Was I allowed to feel as a child? When something triggering happens I react this way___ Do I know why? How can I redirect for a more well-rounded me?
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to document. Document what makes you feel genuine joy. Disgust and hurt too. That’s just pure authenticity, baby.
Making this into a practice during times of flow prepares us for the inevitable times of darkness and purge. We are set up for success in coming to meet ourselves again and again in this lifetime. You are the coolest person you’ll ever know, I promise you that.
Here is a short meditation to help connect yourself back to your body. Take as needed xoxo.
Abundant blessings ∞
-madison renee katherine