behold!

A full moon cycle has passed since my life flipped on its head, and it has been an interesting time for sure. Coming back to my center, being rooted in truth, acceptance of how things presented themselves, and all the coding I was ignoring, and unconditional self-love has been my work as of late. I’ve been on a wave of sadness, anger, revolution, justice, progress, regression, disappointment, and hopefulness all at once. I’d be nothing without my friends and family, a huge community of support during my dark night of the soul (that lasted weeks), but it is slowly turning into the retribution of my soul’s purpose.

Meeting yourself again and again is the path that life hands us, and we change and evolve constantly. Sometimes, our subconscious minds do things before our consciousness accepts them.

Full moon in Taurus, grounding us in self-compassion and care, after the twisted revealings of the past full moon in Gemini, is the appendix we needed. We saw this in post-election results on the fourth, a presage of what the next cycle could bring. We saw this in the time change, winter growing stronger (seasonally in Florida, not so much lol), but with some reprieve from the blatant heat. I saw this in a healing retreat my soul needed in the forest with my sister.

Ugh, this trip was magical for so many reasons, but getting to see my best friend of 19 years (who then turned sister, IYKYK) and just taking care of each other in the stages we are in now was the most spectacular part. We did a lot of exploring and eating, and breathing fresh air. Part of our big hike held a raging waterfall, humongous in stature, that delighted our eardrums with her hums the whole way around the mountain.

I think, like many of us, I have made it my mission to keep many doors propped open at once, to create a fallacy that I am wanted or needed in that container. But for the love of Gaia, let the doors shut for your own sanity. Easier said than done in practice, but it is all practice, right? The gorgeous falls of rushing water, so stunningly violent, alluded to the past year of my life. The violence, internal and external, the painstakingly breathtaking view that felt too good to be true. The hush of the white noise of the water, drowning out anything else of pseudo-importance. The waterfall is a reminder that many truths can exist at one time, even if they juxtapose one another. Such is life! Everything, everywhere, and all at once.

The transitional period of my life right now is in coordination with the changing seasons. Really taking the time to bundle up, heal, keep my heart warm by brooding fires of self-love, and rest and reconciliation, baby! Forgiving myself for thinking I had a part in the way others have treated me. Forgiving myself for not being as healed as I would hope. Taking care of the baby Madison inside of me, who was doing her damndest to feel worthy. I am in hibernation of finding what speaks to me that will serve all of me for the next year. I don’t like to rush time passing by, but I will be so grateful when this year ends. The official wrap-up of a heavy transformational lesson, one that I hopefully do not have to run through again. ha.

Thank you for reading my words and meditations as of late, and I hope the transition into winter times is a soft one, a blanket of warmth and comfort. lord knows we deserve it.

Abundant blessings ∞

-madison renee katherine