A bridge between two worlds
An eclipse is a portal, and we had one just last night. The bright blood harvest moon shone bright and BOLD in the sky, dripping with themes of death, rebirth, communication or lack thereof, and dark night of the soul.
Two weeks leading up to this full moon lunar eclipse, I have been anxiety-ridden, not sleeping well, disconnected. All the tower moments building and building until they break down.
Tower moments: periods of sudden change, upheaval, the unexpected. It’s the shadow finally creeping up on you and making a move.
Tower moments feel dark, and that is because they are. This is where the dark night of the soul comes in. La noche oscura
Typically it looks a little like this
Waking Up To the Truth
The Triggering Event
The Darkest Time
The Rollercoaster
Discovering Your Life Purpose
Attaining Balance
Becoming the Best Version of Yourself
Life lately has felt like this ☟☟☟☟☟☟☟
The poem of La Noche Oscura by St. John of the Cross written in the sixteenth century is about the purification of the spirit, and mystical union with god.
La noche oscura del alma
En una noche oscura.
Con ansias en amores inflamada,
¡Oh dichosa ventura!
Sali sin ser notada,
Estando ya mi casa sosegada.
A oscuras, y segura
Por la secreta escala disfrazada,
¡Oh dichosa ventura!
A oscuras y encelada
Estando ya mi casa sosegada.
En la noche dichosa
En secreto, que nadie me veia,
Ni yo miraba cosa,
Sin otra luz, y guia,
Sino la que en el corazón ardia.
Aquesta me guiaba
Más cierto que la luz del mediodia,
A donde me esperaba,
Quien yo bien me sabia,
En parte, donde nadie parecia.
¡Oh noche que guiaste,
Oh noche amable más que el alborada;
Oh noche que juntaste
Amado con amada,
Amada en el Amado transformada!
En mi pecho florido,
Que entero para él sólo se guardaba,
Allí quedó dormido,
Y yo le regalaba,
Y el ventalle de cedros aire daba.
El aire de la almena,
Cuando yo sus cabellos esparcia,
Con su mano serena
En mi cuello heria,
Y todos mis sentidos suspendia.
Quedéme, y olvidéme,
El rostro recliné sobre el Amado,
Cesó todo, y dejéme,
Dejando mi cuidado
Entre las azucenas olvidado.
Dark Night of the Soul
On a dark night,
Kindled in love with yearnings
—oh, happy chance!—
I went forth without being observed,
My house being now at rest.
In darkness and secure,
By the secret ladder, disguised
—oh, happy chance!—
In darkness and in concealment,
My house being now at rest.
In the happy night,
In secret, when none saw me,
Nor I beheld aught,
Without light or guide,
save that which burned in my heart.
This light guided me
More surely than the light of noonday
To the place where he (well I knew who!)
was awaiting me—
A place where none appeared.
Oh, night that guided me,
Oh, night more lovely than the dawn,
Oh, night that joined
Beloved with lover,
Lover transformed in the Beloved!
Upon my flowery breast,
Kept wholly for himself alone,
There he stayed sleeping,
and I caressed him,
And the fanning of the cedars made a breeze.
The breeze blew from the turret
As I parted his locks;
With his gentle hand
he wounded my neck
And caused all my senses to be suspended.
I remained, lost in oblivion;
My face I reclined on the Beloved.
All ceased and I abandoned myself,
Leaving my cares
forgotten among the lilies.
With the tension building up, containers full and practically boiling over, in my experience, how can we find this mystical connection with god? And when I say god, I mean the god or goddess within. Your deep connection to nature and self and all the power buzzing underneath deep in the subconscious. What are the patterns and symbols being fed to you daily? By yourself and others.
The Steps
When we wake up to the Truth— this is the spark. Something happened or you’ve been ruminating on something for a while. You are noticing.
The Triggering Event is the overflow, the subconscious becoming conscious, the bubbles of the cauldron. This is the tower moment. It feels impossible to overcome.
This is where The Darkest Time comes creeping in. You have this newfound information, and you are forced to face it for the greater good, but good is most likely not in your vocabulary at this point. The only thing to do here is survive.
The rollercoaster is when you make a decision. You have to continue with life and push forward. This is where you start to intellectualize and rationalize the situation. And you go back and forth with different perspectives. This part can also be overwhelming because you are fluctuating deeply on opposite sides of the spectrum of emotion.
Discovering your Life Purpose is all about the clarity that comes from this experience. You do not need to have it all figured out, but you will develop some sense of understanding. Whether you learn about your coping mechanisms, your attachment, or your willingness to learn and change.
Attaining balance to me is the most important part. Listen to me when I say this: You will experience this again. You will feel disconnected, you will feel hopeless, you will feel like a dark cloud of smoke sits like soot in your lungs. But get this! You are feeling, and if you choose to accept this way of life, a true and raw life of feeling things as beautiful as they are, you will also feel how heartbreaking life can be. You are the flower growing amid the crack in the pavement. You persist.
The last “step” is 'becoming the best version of yourself.’ This, for sure, is a romantic outlook on the experience. But you can honor being the best version of yourself for that time period. Until you inevitably have to restructure, rewrite, and relearn yourself.
How am I connecting?
Doing things that have brought me joy in the past and seeing if they sustain me in the right way now. For example, I haven’t painted for my own pleasure, with no guidelines, in perhaps four years. My journey reconnecting with art in general started a little over a year ago ;) But to do it for myself was magical.
a glimpse …
I’m also learning how to be my own friend. Which seems silly but I feel like I’ve been my own worst enemy at some points. This revelation was the ‘discovering your life’s purpose’ spectre.
I hope the portal of the full moon and eclipse wasn’t too heavy, and if it was, know this is a collective experience. I smell a new paradigm in the making. We are overworked and unbalanced, and the world feels it. Starting with you is the best way. It’s the grassroots operation of a new world. A world of balance and peace and gratitude. I believe in us.
Tell me your portal experience here ! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Abundant blessings ∞
-madison renee katherine